We all ever have a random train of thought, right? I don't know about you guys, but mine always start with the same question, "Do you know how much a sword cost?"
I am the kind of guy who needs to always have conversation, but hate to talk to someone I don't know well enough, so most of the time when I am unable to talk with Jey, I am talking to myself. Now that I think back about it, I stopped talking idly to myself when my depression started about two years ago.
What supposed to be a healthy discussion between me and myself starting to be a self doubt, self hating process. I started to yell at my self, to blame myself, and just be so angry at myself all the time. You ever had a girlfriend that was so mad when she was on PMS that none of her anger made sense, that she was just angry at you all the time at every single thing you do? Yeah imagine that, inside of your brain for two whole years instead of just few days a month.
Then I met Jey. She help me, guide me thru the darkness I created myself. She taught me how to love myself more, how to accept every single part of my depression as my own self. I know that depression is a lifetime battle, I know that someday I will fall and fight with all of them all over again, but I know I'll be fine when at this morning, at 2 AM in my own toilet, taking a dump, my mind asked, " So, hey, do you know how much a sword cost?"
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