Love is an Illusion of Safety

The softest spot of a human body is their heart. Its such a fragile organ it could be broken, and torn apart by mere words. Just like a skull was made to protect the brain, rib cage was made to protect the heart, to keep it safe. Now imagine you're giving someone the key to open your metaphorical rip cage, thus allows them to take your heart and do whatever with it. To be in love means that you have to trust someone so much you'll give them your heart, and sometimes, it is literal.

I love her, so much. I'll fight no matter who or what that stupid enough to stand between us. Just like an Asura King, Rahvana, kidnap the love of his life, Shinta. Thus that story will be one of an example to proof my point. No matter how strong Rahvana was, in the end he still fell, not by the arrow of Rama, but from the refusal of Shinta. An invincible unparalleled King of Asura fell because of love, let alone a mere mortal like me.

I gave her my key, she went inside, and oh what a deep cut she made. I can see her regret but still, blood has been spilled, my trust has been broken, the pain has been inflicted. I would be a fool to give her another chance right? To let her hold the same key to the same heart he stab a knife to, would be a fucking stupid move, right?

But, I am a moron. And I do think love have to be stupid. If love cant make a strong person week, turn genius to an imbecile, drag a saint into a sinner, than I do believe that isn't love. True love changes you. It morph your very core. I dare say that I am smarter than an average Joe, but in front of her, among my sweaty palms, my racing heart beat, my shaking arms and legs, and my brain sudden shut down, I am truly and thoroughly a fool. I love her, more than I have ever loved everything in my life combined.

There is a deep wound in my heart, the blood cant stop flowing from it, but it still beats. And I am gonna take the biggest bet of my life, I am gonna let her keep my key, I am gonna let her hold my bloody heart once again. I am gonna trust her, or at least, trying my best to trust that she gonna cherish what left of it, cherish the weakening beating of it, to hold it dearly while I'll try my best to mend it, to fix it, to keep it beating no matter how little or lot longer it would be.


I love you, Eve, with all the remaining of my weakening heart.


Di dalam kamar penuh asap dupa, Surabaya.
21-09-2018, 03:22